Nobody wants a humorless marriage, but for some couples, it’s inevitable.
As your relationship progresses, you and your spouse will confront major challenges—losing jobs, paying debts, raising children, losing loved ones—that can zap the fun, lighthearted moments you used to share. Your conversations become serious. Your thoughts are consumed by your many responsibilities. And somewhere along the way, you forget to laugh.
Couples should take laughter seriously. Humor is often taken for granted or written off as unimportant, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
On your wedding day, you and your spouse started your journey smiling, laughing, hand-in-hand. Don’t let your marriage become a sullen, solemn march into eternity.
Why laughter?
Countless research has proven the scientific benefits of humor, especially in patients suffering from depression or anxiety disorders. The physical and psychological benefits make laughter a great medicine.
A developed sense of humor and frequent laughter has been linked to…
- Lowering blood pressure
- Relieving tension
- Reducing stress
- Releasing endorphins
- Improving the immune system
And those are just the medical benefits.
In a relationship, laughter can bring two people closer by diffusing conflicts, increasing trust and reducing defensiveness.
Sharing a hearty laugh is a great way for you and your loved one to release pent up emotional and physical tension. Dark humor—or laughing in the face of an immense tragedy—can help your brain cope with deep-seeded distress. So next time you and your partner are facing a heartbreak, allow yourself to laugh.
Rekindle your sense of humor
Rediscovering the playful side of your relationship is easier than you might think.
First and foremost, you need to laugh, even when you don’t feel like laughing.
It’s easy to fill your brain with negative thoughts, but if your partner is trying to share a funny moment with you, let them. Saying “How could you laugh at time like this?” or “You don’t take this seriously enough,” undermines your spouse’s attempt to connect with you. That kind of rejection can leave them feeling hurt, unwanted and embarrassed. Not to mention, sometimes laughing is exactly what you need during a difficult time, and your spouse can be the best person to share that with.
Couples also should spend time studying their partner’s funny bone. Maybe it’s a raunchy movie or silly comic strip that makes them giggle. Whatever it is, find it. Once you better understand what they enjoy (which is likely similar to your tastes) then try sharing stories, photos, videos or articles they may find amusing.
Even if your wit and the joke-making skills aren’t up to par, you can still enjoy a hearty laugh with your spouse. Try watching some live comedy on a date night. The pressure to make each other laugh is absolved, and you’re still able to let loose.